The Real Lesson
Posted on | January 19, 2012 | 1 Comment
In my last blog, I wrote about how God’s given me a theme of self-control to consider this year. In typical God-like fashion, He’s providing lots of opportunity for me to practice (or maybe He just knew it was a matter of time before I’d give myself opportunity.)
Last week I put myself smack dab into the middle of a situation, and I’ve learned a few hard lessons that I’d like to share with you.
DON’T OWN OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS. I’m a repeat offender when it comes to this one. I’m all for helping out, sharing a burden, and lending a hand, but I cross the line and simply take responsibility for someone’s situation and then I resent it. There’s a fine line between helping someone find a solution and becoming their solution. I’ve found it. Now if I could just stay on the right side of it…
OUT OF CONTROL EMOTIONS LIMIT MY CREATIVITY. This is probably the most surprising lesson. I was frustrated over my own life being impacted by certain events. I was angry with the lack of consideration shown by someone else. And I was irritated with another person’s inability to set boundaries. My reaction? Become the solution for people who aren’t even asking me to become the solution. If I had simply taken some time to cool off and talk to my level headed husband, I would have had the ability to creatively think through all the options for everyone instead of creating conflict with the anger and resentment that was birthed out of my decision to fix it all.
THE FEAR OF OTHERS’ OPINIONS LEADS ME TO BE DISHONEST. Ouch…this is really where the problem lies. If I don’t become the solution, I have to tell people no, and what they might think scares me. This insecurity is sinful, dishonest and the root of the problem. Instead of simply saying, “I know you have this need and I can’t help this week, but I am happy to help next week,” I fed my insecurity, put an undue burden on my own family, and enabled others to make their own poor choices based on their own fears of what others would think. THAT HAS TO STOP.
I want to say a few things before I close. I’ve had to pore over this for two weeks before writing. I had a ton of emotion to get out of the way, but I also needed to wrestle with the clear call of Scripture to help and love my neighbor.
Do His Words mean that I have to say, “Yes,” to every need around me?
Does laying down my life for a friend mean rejecting my own family’s needs/wishes?
Am I a ‘bad’ Christian for saying “No” and not always wanting to help?
I have to be honest and tell you I don’t have all the answers to these questions.
What I do know is this: When my life is led by fear, insecurity and a lack of self-control it ISN’T being led by God.
That’s the real lesson…
May this blog help you avoid similar mistakes this week. God bless–Lois
Verse for the Year
Posted on | January 5, 2012 | 1 Comment
Each January, I choose a verse for the year with the intent of meditating on it throughout the following months. This year I was led to my particular verse more by a theme I wanted to pursue and live out in my life: self-control.
The first verse that came to mind was Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”
As I considered it, I began to think about how self-control is a core quality of God. I think the most common example we’d use is Jesus’ sinless life. He didn’t give in to laziness or gluttony, pride or greed. But the example of self-control in Jesus’ life that came to mind was His refusal to be controlled by others. He knew who He was, what He was called to do, and He did it, at great personal cost. He listened to one voice, His Father’s. All other opinions and expectations were cast aside as He lived the life God gave Him to live.
If self-control is as much about not allowing myself to be controlled as it is about controlling myself, then I have some work to do.
2 Timothy 1:7 reads, “For God gave us a spirit NOT of fear, but of power and love and self-control.”
I won’t lie. As I’ve begun to look deeply at the reasons and motivations for what I do and don’t do, I’m shocked to see how much public opinion has played a role. I’m sad at the backseat position I’ve given to God. I’m nervous about the potential conflict that will come to my relationships as I step out and really follow Him in all things.
But I’m hanging on to this truth: I have NOT been given a spirit of fear. I’ve been given a spirit of power, love and self-control. I have one Voice to follow, and it’s a voice I know I can trust.
If you’ve never chosen a theme or a verse for your year, I’d encourage you try it. It’s a wonderful way to bring some spiritual focus and purpose to your life. If you do decide to, please share it with me. I’ll be praying for you.
God bless — Lois
Ready or Not, He Comes
Posted on | December 21, 2011 | 2 Comments
Her blog was long and beautiful. She wraps words round her heart like sparkly, full ribbon round a Christmas tree, and they fold themselves in and out creating spaces to hang the most ornamental of thoughts and ideas. I read her words and pondered her question, “Are you ready for Christmas?” She spoke of the heart, of course. What she was fleshing out of her own life and pushing me to consider in mine was, “Is my heart ready for Him?”
Advent, from the Latin adventus, means ‘coming.’ It’s the season we celebrate His coming into the world over 2000 years ago. It’s a time of anticipation as we build up to His birthday, a celebration of His life. Is that what Christmas is to me? It’s what I want it to be about, but as the seconds tick and the minutes roll by I get caught up in the undone tasks, in the busyness, in the emptiness of my culture’s observance of such a holy day.
If I can be honest with you, I’ve not felt ready. Every glittery globe in my tree seems to hang hollow in more ways than one. Every box wrapped with ribbons and bows seems empty and vain. All around me the evidence of a blessed life feels more like a curse sometimes. In the beauty of my barn, I find myself longing for the stable and the babe…
…swaddled in a trough used by horses and mules mere hours before
…breathing His first in air thick with dung, urine and animal sweat
…gazed upon by a weary mother
Did Mary wonder at the plan of God, who saw fit to bring His Son into the world under these conditions?
As I read through Luke’s account of His coming, I can only stand in awe and cry at the mercy of God toward Mary when He sent shepherds that first night. Shepherds with eyes full of holy wonder at the angels and glory light of God that broke through the darkness round them that evening. Shepherds with hearts full of worship for their tiny Savior King lying in a manger. Shepherds with minds amazed, spreading the word that the Word had finally come…
In the midst of the unlikely scene she found herself in, He gave her heart much to ponder.
Is my heart ready for Christmas? Is it ready for Him? Is yours? Ready or not, He comes precisely to help us with that.
May you be encouraged by the truth that He has come…tender, extravagant Love. May He be the gift you find as you let your heart pause and ponder this Christmas.
Love and God bless–Lois
“In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And everyone went to their own town to register.
So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, “Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.” When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.” Luke 2:1-20
Chaos Into Counting
Posted on | December 1, 2011 | 2 Comments
I found myself just sitting on the sofa staring off into space today. That’s a bad sign for me. Do you have signs when you’re on overload? Do you pay attention to them?
I think it was the service tech for Comcast drilling an unintended hole in my drywall (two actually) that threw me over the edge. My children were afraid for him and asked me if I was gonna yell at him. I told them no. I politely told him he was done and he needed to leave. He showed up later with his boss who finished the job, which Darrell stayed up redoing until 1am this morning. I now have three holes in my drywall…
I’m beginning to feel paralyzed. You know that place inside yourself where you are suddenly unable to think or make decisions and instead of functioning like a normal human being you just find yourself sitting on your couch staring into space? Internal chaos…I hate that place. It’s the last ledge before full blown depression sets in for me. I’m not going there…
Instead, I’m going to count the gifts God has given me and choose gratefulness over grumbling (Check out my friend Jill’s blog on that here. It stirred my heart so much when I read it.)
#13 my cat Sam, who was killed this week crossing the road
#14 the way she used to not meow at all when she was little-it made her seem so vulnerable
#15 hearing her meow for the first time when we put her in the car to take her to her first vet visit-I quit worrying something was really wrong with her
#16 the way her meow never seemed quite right with it’s high pitched, scratchy sound-made her so unique
#17 the contrast of her tiny, thin body and her fierce hunting instinct that brought many a marsh rat to my front door
#18 her beautiful markings-she was one of the most beautiful cats I’ve ever had
#19 the blessing that her death is as an introduction of death to my sons-I’d rather them learn how to grieve over an animal than a family or friend
#20 our contractors Barry and Relta Lirette-amazing people with amazing integrity and work ethic
#21 Relta’s sister, Connie, who has such creative ideas and a beautiful heart for children
#22 my friend Mandy who painted my entire house (and remained my friend) in spite of my “help”
#23 my husband’s ability to rewire our phone lines to get them where he wants them to be
#24 tomorrow (today…just realized it’s almost 4am) and the beginning of our Advent countdown to the coming of Christ into the world
#25 the way He turns my chaos into counting
I hope that in the midst of the busy (and sometimes chaotic) holiday season, you are taking time to count the gifts He’s already given you. May He bless you and draw you nearer through your thanks.
Basic Bible Study Questions
Posted on | November 3, 2011 | 2 Comments
The Bible can be a confusing and intimidating (some say boring) read. I know I used to feel all those things and more. Just thought I’d post a practical post this week and give you 5 questions I’ve used to work my way through the Words of God.
(2) What does this passage teach me about the character and the nature of God? of Jesus?
(3) How is God using this passage to encourage and/or challenge me?
(4) What questions do I have after reading this passage?
(5) What specifically am I taking away from this passage and applying to my life in the next seven days?
One Thousand Isn’t Nearly Enough…
Posted on | October 27, 2011 | No Comments
“10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)”
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
The sun comes up, it’s a new day dawning
It’s time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
You’re rich in love, and You’re slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
[Chorus]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore
[Chorus x2]
Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I’ll worship Your holy name
Lord, I’ll worship Your holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I’ll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I’ll worship Your holy name
I’ll worship Your holy name
One thousand isn’t nearly enough…
#13 songs that lead me to worship Him with abandon
And Counting…#7-#12
Posted on | October 25, 2011 | 1 Comment
Busy. It’s what I’ve been and it’s what I’ll be until we get this move behind us. Sometimes I feel a little frantic, but for the most part, I’m doing what I love and you can’t beat that. I find myself surrounded by gifts from God and today’s a good day for counting a few of them.
#7 Benjamin Blue’s velvety ears that have the power to calm me deep inside when I pet him. 
#8 the crazy love I have for him in spite of the massive amount of fur he sheds on a daily basis
#9 the beauty of monogamous, committed love
#10 the staggering beauty of the life it leads to
#11 my friend Faith’s amazing gift for photographing silouhettes
#12 the setting sun in all of it’s glory and power
I hope you’re seeing the gifts of God surrounding you. I hope you’re stopping to take them in and allowing gratefulness to sink deeply into your heart. I hope you’re choosing to see the blessings in your life and drawing closer to the architect of love who’s put it all here for you to enjoy.
The season of Thanksgiving is almost upon us. The season of Joy to the World is following right behind. May thankfulness and joy change us today.
Love to you and yours. –Lois
Chest Pain & Bologna Sandwiches
Posted on | October 13, 2011 | 11 Comments
A bologna sandwich isn’t typically what your cardiologist would suggest you use to treat chest pain. I should know since I’m married to one, but it’s what the proverbial doctor ordered the other day. (The one I married would recommend a stress test.)
The tightness in my chest started around 2:30 in the afternoon. A lack of sleep, a too long To Do List and the teaching of fractions caught up with me and anxiety began to set in mid-morning. By the afternoon, I felt like a failing dam trying to hold back miles of water raging through the River Chaos.
Why life became overwhelming to me that day and not another is beyond me. In fact, I haven’t felt that level of anxiety in over 20 years. Whatever the reason, I needed the chest pain to go away. As I drove away from the golf course after dropping off my oldest for his lesson, I looked at my youngest. I was hungry, and at that moment, a memory from childhood came to me.
We’d wake early on Saturdays hearing my mom and aunt say, “Get in the car! We’re going to garage sales!” We enjoyed this outing. There weren’t many. We lived with my aunt and cousins during some of the harder times after my father left and feeding 9 children was a challenge for these moms. Our fun was had in the backyard playing softball, splashing in ditches after a heavy rain, and swimming at the neighbor’s pool when we were lucky enough to be invited.
“Garage Sale-ing” was an event. There were no seatbelt laws back then and the youngers, about 5 of us, would pile into the back of the car and off we went! The best part of “garage sale-ing” was lunchtime. Mom and Aunt Harriet would drive up to the A&P and run in. With just a few dollars, they’d come out with a couple French breads, a pound of bologna, and if they’d been busy at either their painting business or mom’s waitressing job, they’d come out with Pop Rouge! If things had been slow and money was tight, we’d all sip from a gallon jug of water.
As I reminisced on my empty stomach and groaned inwardly at the traffic I was going to encounter running the errand I had planned, Noah piped up and said, “We should go to the park, Mom.” I smiled and shared my story of “garage sale-ing” and asked if he’d like to have bologna sandwiches for dinner at the park. And that’s exactly what we did. It was 20 minutes of peace watching the sun go down, being grateful for the gift of good childhood memories, and making new ones with my joy baby.
I can’t change the length of my to do list or the fact that fractions must be learned, but I can choose to simply stop and rest for a while, to engage in something meaningful and good, and to share that with my children. I hope you find and take the time to enjoy life this weekend, to put aside the never ending demands, and to rest for a while and invite those you love most to rest with you.
God bless and have a good weekend…
#4 good childhood memories
#5 my joy baby
#6 bologna sandwiches
Inspiration
Posted on | October 7, 2011 | 2 Comments
“Almost everything-all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure-these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” –Steve Jobs
As I learn how to let God set the expectations for my life…
As I take risks that require humility…
As I practice my passions knowing I’ll make mistakes and fail every now and then…
I find inspiration in these words from Steve Jobs.
I may not have a terminal disease or find myself facing the reality that death is just around the corner, but I am dying. We all are. If I’m fortunate enough to avoid a fatal accident, one day this body of mine will quit. I’m certain of it.
Do I want to waste the rest of my life succumbing to a need to please others or the fear of failure?
Steve Jobs had the blessing of coming face to face with the truth that his time on this earth was limited, and he found a freedom in that truth that I long for. My days are numbered. I want to make them count.
What about you?
Jealousy
Posted on | October 6, 2011 | 3 Comments
Jealousy is an ugly worm, boring holes in your hopes and dreams, eating at the core of who you are becoming. It tempts you to quit as it whispers words like, “That’s been done already by someone better than you.”
I hate jealousy. When I see it coming, I run the other direction. It’s a thief stealing, killing and destroying my dreams and my identity. I run to Him to remember it’s His story unfolding in my life. It’s His love and leading I’m to seek and follow.
There’s only peace in His arms, not in the fast lane of comparisons, not in the distant mountains of other’s successes. It’s hard when the wanting is stronger than the waiting. I get tired of waiting, but until the wanting is right, I wait. I surrender to the arms that hold me tightly until I cease striving and struggling.
I’m grateful He doesn’t let me go as I wiggle and squirm to get away. I’m grateful His hands are faithful and firm when my eyes are blind and can’t see, when my ears are deaf, even on my knees.
Jealousy rips me from Him sometimes…
But not today…
Job 5:2 “…the jealous anger of a simpleton does her in.”